Catherine & Henry - Love, pain, betrayal (Never ending lovestory)
by demedicigirl
Summary: The thought of Catherine being in hands of other man makes King Henry crazy. After finding out that she had a relationship with Richard he came into her chambers and did something he will later regret.
1. Chapter 1

It was the wedding of Mary and Francis. Catherine stood in the hall, saying goodbye and wishing a lot of happiness to her son and his new wife. Back at the ceremony the queen noticed the way Henry was staring at her. His look was different. It was unknown to her. Her husband drank a lot, but she did her best not to concentrate on Henry's reaction but on her own son and Mary.

And then Catherine was finally in her bedroom. She thought about her past and future. Many thoughts went through her mind. She looked into the window; seeing the darkness and only a few lights still burning outside. Everything seemed quiet.

She thought of how Francis had grown up. How the time had passed. She thought of her first days at the castle and her wedding night. She thought about Henry, how innocent and deep her love for him was. But it was a delusion. Richard? She never really was in love with Richard. He was protecting and loving her and that was what she searched for.

Her husband was the one who brought her into the hands of another man. Richard was protecting her till his death. She remembered how angry, disappointed and sad Henry was that day.

Sad? Was he really sad? Or just mad because someone took something that belonged to him. That was what she asked herself many times when it had something to do with Henry. She was unsure and never really knew what he felt or what he was going to do next. So many times he had betrayed her. So many times she had cried. Yes, she cried… Queen of France, de Medici woman, cried.

He was even willing to kill her without any regrets. Her, his wife through all this years, the mother of 8 of his children… Since that day and since her liberation he hadn't talked to her. He just looked at her in a strange way. And she tried not to look away but she did it. It wasn't the repentance that she felt, no. Catherine was not pretending to feel sorry about anything simply because he'd betrayed her so many times. So why should she feel sorry when it doesn't even heart him?..

But there she was. She was still the Queen of France, the wife of the King and the mother of the future King. He had not killed her. He had the right to do it but he hadn't. He said it was because of Francis, but what King would ever let his son change something once a decision had been made? And so Catherine thought that maybe – just maybe - there was still a spark of love that they both felt years ago.

The only thing she wanted to do now was to sleep. Passing next to the mirror she glanced at her long red dress, perfectly fitting the pale skin. She took off her crown and let the hair down. When she was about to take her dress off, Catherine looked at the mirror again, only to see Henry standing there, starring at her.

"What are you doing here? I thought you are busy… with Kenna or someone else."

He took a step forward, approaching her. Catherine could smell he'd been drinking a lot, she could see it in his eyes. The king said nothing. He just just kept looking at his wife. The thing he loved the most in her was her hair. Her long, wavy hair. It had the color of sun, gold… and the smell of it… it was unique. He had been searching for this smell in every woman, but he never found it. Her skin was still perfect, the pale color of her skin… she was born to be a Queen, and he knew that. And her eyes, the eyes of a real de Medici, these eyes drove him crazy. Catherine was the reason of his unhappy life. It was her who was the reason of his weakness despite his power and position. Henry stared at his wife with a passionate gaze, and then he suddenly snapped.

"Why I am here? What kind of a question is that? Am I not allowed to visit you in your chambers?" The way he talked frightened Catherine. She felt that he was nervous and aggressive. It was alcohol what made him react like that.

"No, but …"

"But what?" he turned to her and stared at her for a few moments, starting from feet and finally reaching her eyes. "I should have listened to all the people then. I should have killed you years ago or sent you back to Italy when I had a chance. I shouldn't have let your power boost. I should not have trusted you. What have I done? I've loved you – I've never really cared how far we would go, fast or slow. I ignored everything they've said just because I believed you, I believed in us. They told me you would cause me pain and yes, that's what you've done to me."

"Henry, please! I am not going to continue this conversation. You are not able to communicate, you've drunk too much tonight…" She turned her back on him and was about to leave when he grabbed her hand and pulled her closer to him. Angry and aggressive.

"We are not done and this is going to take a lot of time."

She felt fear growing inside her; suddenly Catherine could not recognize her husband. She suddenly realized he would not go so easily and let it all just be. He was determined to go through with this show.

"Henry, you are hurting me! Let me go!"

"Tell me, what did he have that I didn't? What did Richard have that made you make him your lover then?"

"What are talking about? You are losing your mind and your dignity. Please go, I am really tired and not able to talk about the past right now."

He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her body tighter against him. She felt the pain in her hands and her spine.

"When did all of this start? When have you let him make love to you the first time? Where? Oh, was it here?"

He became more and more aggressive.

"Henry, what's going on with you? Go now, you do not realize what you're doing and saying. You've drunk too much."

"Just answer the question!"

"What are you expecting me to do? What should I say to you? That I'm sorry? Well. I'm not! I will not feel sorry. Are you thinking about me when you're with Diane or Kenna or someone else? It was the despair and anger that I felt at that time. Nothing else! You have neglected me and he was always there. He held my hand, comforted me, respect me… and you? What have you done for me? Except giving me this crown…"

He seemed not to hear her words. The fear she felt was now stronger. She wanted to scream and cry but she was the Queen, so she would not.

"Was he better than me? Tell me! Was he better?"

"You're crazy!"

"And you… you're not a Queen, you're a... I will show you how much better I am now. I'm going to refresh your memory."

Henry pushed his wife against the wall, his eyes burning her body; she felt the pain his hands caused hers, her waist, her neck… He forcefully opened the buttons of her dress and started kissing her neck and touching her passionately while she desperately fought against it. It was unthinkable for Catherine to be in this situation, she always knew how to control everything but here and now she was incapable of doing anything to stop her husband. She wanted to find the right words that would stop her husband but she couldn't. She knew that the only one who would have helped her was their son Francis, but he was not here. And there was no one else in this castle who'd have the courage to defend her from the King.

"Henry, stop it! You're drunk and tomorrow you will regret it! For your best, just stop this, let's talk!" her voice trembled

He stopped for a moment, looking into her eyes with anger and desire

"Talk? Your words aren't worth anything! Did you talk to others before taking them in your bed? DID YOU?"

Henry pushed her even harder. He kept on kissing her neck and cheeks, trying to force her to kiss him back. And then he whispered in her ear, "You like this? Don't tell me you haven't missed me… my Queen!"

As the fear grew in Catherine she tried fighting more and more to free herself from his grip, but then he said, "The more you fight, the more it will hurt Catherine."

His movements became more aggressive and painful to her.

He threw her onto the bed as if nothing could stop him from doing what he desired. Catherine struggled like a wounded lioness, but she wasn't that strong. She couldn't fight back. She felt so fragile and helpless at this moment, like never before.

When she was no longer able to defend herself from him, her hands gripped the bed linen as she focused on just one thing: not to scream and beg. Her husband the king took her against her will that night. He made her feel ashamed and worthless… There was a tear in her eye. As Henry continued, the tear fell down the cheek. It was not the first but it wouldn't be the last tear caused by Henry, her husband, the King either…

**A big "THANK YOU" to Maria Purt for her help and support with the text!**


	2. Chapter 2

_Big "Thanks" to** Maria Purt & Beawild **for their help with the grammar! 3 &thanks for all the reviews, followers and favs ! :) _

* * *

The morning after, he woke up. He had a terrible headache. At first he didn't recall what happened the night before, but he then began to remember everything. His face expressed shock and distress. He looked around searching for Catherine. There she was, standing by the window. He didn't know how to react, what should he say to her? "I'm sorry?" Were these the right words to justify what he did last night? He stood up, grabbing his clothes and going closer to her. She didn't move. The sun streaming through the window shone upon her hair. He wanted to touch her shoulder and took a breath, about to begin talking to her, when she suddenly moved away to prevent his touch.

"Don't waste words of apology. I don't need them!"

"Catherine…"

She turned to face him. Her eyes were red and swollen.

"Just leave my room now! And don't say a word while you're leaving!" then she turned her back to him.

He stood there for a while. At last, he took his clothes and opened the door. He looked at his wife one more time before leaving. The last thing he wanted to do was to leave, but he knew that mere words would not be enough.

As he left, she began to walk toward her bed. Her walk was not the same, it was not the walk of a queen and it was neither the way a queen should feel. She threw herself on the bed, wanting to stay there the whole day, so she did. She stayed in her room the entire day.

* * *

A few weeks went by. She spent most of the time in her room or in the garden with the intention to avoid seeing Henry. She hadn't spoken to anybody. Sometimes, when there were guests in the castle and she couldn't avoid sitting at the same table with Henry, she came to dinner but would not speak to the guests or even look at Henry. She acted as if she didn't want to be there. The servants and Mary's ladies noticed this. They also noticed that the King would desperately try to start a conversation with the Queen, but it wouldn't work. She refused to say a word.

One day, when she went to her room after a long walk, the servants informed her that Francis and Mary had returned. The King received them in the hall and Catherine went to welcome her son and his wife. She ran through the hall to hug her son, she hugged him as if she hadn't seen him in years. She began to cry and hug him tightly as if trying to find refuge and consolation in that hug.

"Oh, my son, you're finally here." Francis and Mary were surprised by her reaction.

"Mother, is everything alright? We were not gone so long from Court! We actually planned to extend the trip, but I'm glad that we didn't."

Henry looked away as Catherine became sentimental, feeling remorse and guilt. Mary observed the situation and was sure that something was wrong between them.

Catherine went to Mary and hugged her. "My dear, you look wonderful."

"Thank you Catherine, you too."

After the newly married couple talked about their trip, they decided to go to their chamber.

"Well, I think we had enough for today. We will talk tomorrow." Francis wished his mother good night and Mary came to Catherine and whispered in her ear "Is everything alright, Catherine?"

Catherine looked at Mary; she knew that her reaction had been exaggerated. She also knew that Mary was smart enough to notice that something was wrong. Catherine, with a forced, bitter smile said "Good night, my dear" to Mary.

They left. Catherine was also about to leave when Henry finally reacted.

"How long will it continue?"

She turned to him and looked at him for the first time since the night that it had happened.

"WHAT?"

He was astonished "What? You think that I haven't noticed your change? You are not the same Catherine. You ignore and neglect me. Your eyes fill with tears and there is coldness in them when you look at me. Do you think that nobody has noticed it?"

She looked at him with that same cold look and loftily replied "I'm tired, Henry. I'm just tired", her voice trembled.

He rose from his chair and moved closer to her and when she suddenly went back a few steps, he stopped.

"I know you don't want me to talk about this but I have to. I didn't want to do this to you! I never would have if I hadn't been so desperate and drunk at the same time. I know I've hurt you…"

He moved closer to her while she looked at him with tears in her eyes. He slowly and carefully moved his hand to her face and began stroking her cheek.

"I know how much I've hurt you. I know it will take time before you can forgive me." He took a deep breath, "but I will be patient if you promise me that you will try."

She took his hand away from her cheek. "It isn't about forgiveness, Henry. It's about forgetting, but you fail to understand that."

She left the hall and he stood there, feeling like the worst man in the world. He realized how big her pain must be. He knew that no man should treat a woman like this. He was ashamed of his actions. The thought that she would never forget what happened was killing him inside.

* * *

A few days later…

Henry was about to finish his duties when he heard voices outside his door.

Then a servant came into his room, disturbing him. "Your majesty…" She looked scared.

"How dare you to disturb me now?"

"Your majesty, the Queen… she…"

"The Queen? What happened to Catherine?" he felt uneasy.

"I went into her room and saw her lying on the floor, unconscious and I…"

He left the room and ran through the castle to Catherine's room. Mary and Francis saw him and followed.

Henry went in first, followed by Mary and Francis and the servants. Catherine lay unconscious on the floor. Henry took her in his arms, trying to wake her up. She didn't respond.

"Go and bring Nostradamus here. Immediately!" He lifted her in his arms and brought her to the bed. All in the room were surprised to see the Queen in this situation and the King so worried about her. He was holding her hand and praying to God that she stay alive… He knew that if she died now, he would never forgive himself as it would be entirely his fault.

Nostradamus came in.  
"Let one of the servants stay here to help me, all the others, please leave the room."

They left the room and Henry while he was leaving; turned to look again and again at Catherine's bed.

* * *

After more than an hour of waiting for news, Nostradamus came out of the room.  
Henry immediately asked "What happened, Nostradamus? How is my wife?"

"The Queen tried to poison herself, your Grace. She took the strongest type of toxin and…" He looked at the floor…

"And what? She is still alive, right? Tell me that she will be alright!"

"I saved the Queen… but not the child."

Henry was shocked.

Francis too, "What do you mean, Nostradamus?"

Mary, "A child? Catherine… she was with child?"

Nostradamus said "She is still weak. I actually thought it would be impossible… but she survived. She'll be fine." He then looked at Henry and added "There was nothing to do to save the child inside her."

Henry, with tears in his eyes, went to Catherine's room. Mary and Francis followed. He went to her bed and sat down near her.

"I want you all to leave the room now."

Francis, "But, father…"

"I said I want you to LEAVE!" He screamed.

Nostradamus, "It will take some time until she wakes up. I'll prepare something for her and bring it here; it will help her to recover."

They went out of the room. Henry stayed alone with her.

* * *

Francis, "She tried to take her life and she was pregnant?"

Mary, "Yes, that's what it seems to be", she sounded as if she knew more.

Francis, "But why? That's not like my mother. She would have never done that, knowing that she was with child…"

Mary, "Well, they've changed a lot. My ladies told me that they haven't talked to each other since our wedding. Kenna … Well, you know… She told me that he didn't receive his mistresses during this time… It seems like something bad, really bad, happened."


	3. Chapter 3

Henry was sitting on the floor next to her bed. Carefully holding Catherine's hand, he observed how vulnerable and fragile she was as she lay there. Her face was pale and her mouth was dry. His gaze slowly moved down to her stomach. The thought that inside her had been a baby, his son or daughter, his blood, caused a bitter grin on his face. A baby would have changed everything in their lives, it could have been a new beginning for them; but there was no baby anymore. The loss left him feeling bereft. He felt guilty and responsible. The King of France let a tear fall down his face and slowly dropped his head on her belly as more tears began to fall.

"Oh Catherine, it's my fault. It has always been my fault." He cried "if you had told me that you were expecting, if you just had given me a sign…"

As he was holding her hand he felt her fingers moving. He wiped his tears with his sleeve and nervously looked at her, kissing her hand and touching her forehead.

"Catherine, wake up!" he exhorted "It's OK, my dear. Everything will be fine, I promise you."

She slowly opened her eyes "What happened? Am I still alive?" she wondered.

"Everything will be alright. You're safe."

"How is it possible? I failed; it was not what I wanted to happen." she began to panic "How is it possible that I'm still alive? Nooo."

She tried to get out of bed, but tremendous pain in her abdomen prevented her from it. She put her hand on her stomach and then looked wearily at Henry. She wanted to ask him what had happened to the baby, but she didn't know if he already knew about her pregnancy. She gazed at him with a questioning look, it was not necessary for her to ask anything. He understood what she wanted to know.

He touched the hand on her stomach and said "As hard as Nostradamus tried, he couldn't save the child inside you."

She looked at her belly and was not sure what to feel at that moment. Should she feel liberated or sad? She had always been a good mother to all of her children, but now she felt guilty.

She realized what she had done and then whispered quietly: "God, what have I done?" then she turned to Henry "I killed this child. My child, our child, Henry." She began to panic and was breathing faster and harder, as if she were unable to get enough air into her lungs.

She continued whispering. He leaned in as he could hardly understand what she was saying "I killed my own child, I didn't want to, it was not my intention. It's ME… who should be dead now." She cried in desperation, as sobs shook her body.

Henry didn't know what to do.  
He took her head with both of his hands, making her look at him and said "Catherine, it's not your fault. It's my fault. It has always been so. Everything that has happened to you and to us, it was my fault. I'm the one to blame, not you! Do you understand?" He hugged her very tightly and she cried on his chest for a long time until finally, exhausted from crying, from the pain of the loss of her child and the physical pain she felt from the miscarriage; she fell asleep in his arms. Henry cradled her as he would have the child that was no more.

_

In the morning when she woke up she saw Mary in her chamber.

"Good morning, Catherine"

Catherine wondered "What are you doing here?"

"Henry had duties to attend early this morning. I offered to take care of you while he's gone. Or would you prefer a servant to be here instead of me, your daughter-in-law? Who would take care of you better than I?" Mary smiled at her while she opened the curtains to let in a little sun light in the Queen's chamber.

Catherine tried to get out of bed, but Mary quickly ran toward her to prevent her from doing so.

"No, no, no. Your Majesty, I am sorry to have to tell you that you are not allowed to leave your bed for now. You need to recover." She picked up a small bottle with blue liquid from the table next to the Queen's bed and a glass of water "Open your mouth, your Grace."

Catherine asked astonished "What is this?"

"It's from Nostradamus. It will help you to recover" Mary smiled at her.

Catherine drank it even though it was disgusting, like everything Nostradamus prepared, but she was sure that it would help. She looked at Mary, who was still smiling warmly at the Queen, and thought how things had changed. In the not so distant past she had done everything in her power to come between Mary and her son. Yet, there she was, and Catherine could not think of a better person than Mary to be with her at that moment.

"Do you feel better?" Mary asked.

"I guess so." Catherine nodded.

"We were all very worried about you. Francis has not slept all night and Henry stayed here with you the whole night… feeling guilty."

Catherine turned her back to Mary, not wanting to look into her eyes. Silence had reigned for a few minutes, when Mary added "Do you want to talk to me about it?"

Catherine turned slowly to look at her; her gaze was glassy with tears. She thought "How could she know anything about what happened? And what did she mean exactly? The loss of my child or what Henry did to me?"

"There is nothing to talk about, Mary."  
Mary tried one more time "Are you sure?"

Catherine didn't answer.

Then Mary turned to her "Catherine, maybe the whole French court is blind, but I'm not. I have learned well from you. You have taught me how to think, what to say, how to play, how to be a Queen. Now I am smart enough to notice when something is wrong and I can put things together."

Catherine didn't want to cry again and show once more any sign of weakness. But she knew that she could be honest with Mary.

"I'm sorry. I forgot that you've grown and that you have learned much." She took a short breath and continued "You got it. There is no need to repeat the story and feel the pain over and over." Her voice trembled and she looked at the other side of the room trying to hide her tears.

Mary looked at Catherine, their relationship had been fraught with conflict but seeing her now so vulnerable and lost, she suddenly felt the urge to hug her as hard and as warmly as she could. Catherine felt relieved. She wondered why she felt no shame that Mary knew of her suffering. Instead, she felt relieved that there was someone with whom she could share her pain without any need to explain in detail what had occurred while Mary and Francis had been gone.

Suddenly Francis burst into the Queen's chambers. His eyes shone as he saw his mother and wife together.

"Nooo! Seriously? Hugs without me? Very inconsiderate of you two not to have called me to share this family moment" he smiled.

Catherine quickly wiped her tears and smiled at her son. He came close to her and gave her a kiss on the forehead "How do you feel today, mother?"

Catherine took his hand in hers "Better…" she looked at Mary "Now that Mary is taking care of me I feel better."


	4. Chapter 4

Mary spent the whole day with Catherine.

After dinner they had talked for a short time. When Mary yawned aloud, Catherine said with a caring voice "Mary, it's enough for today! You can go to your chambers now". Mary looked hesitantly at her, but didn't move. Catherine laughed, but understood the look she gave her.

"But …" Mary was afraid to leave her alone.

Catherine took her hand and added "Good night, my dear."

Mary smiled at her warmly and thought that Catherine probably needed to spend some time alone, to think things through and to return to her old self. She rose from the chair next to the Queen's bed and was on her way out when Catherine's words came to her suddenly "Thank you, Mary. Your support and understanding means a lot to me at this moment. Thanks."

Mary nodded, gave her the warmest smile she could muster and left the Queen's chambers.

Catherine was finally alone and had time to think about the events of the last few weeks – and it scared her. She didn't want to think, to remember, to feel. She wished that she could numb herself of the emotional pain and feeling of emptiness that had taken hold of her, but her mind wouldn't allow her that privilege. As hard as she tried, her mind raced through that fateful night when an inebriated and jealous Henry forced himself on her. She also thought of the aftermath of her actions. What if the child had not died? Had she been carrying a boy or a girl? What if she had died too? Her thoughts turned to Henry. Where was he? Had he really been busy with royal duties or was that an excuse not to be around her? Was he afraid to confront her? The more her mind wandered, the more agitated she became.

Her thoughts were interrupted by her two young sons, Charles and Henry, bursting into her chambers. They were the only ones who never knocked at her door; the guards were already accustomed to this.

Her eyes shone as she saw her boys. They ran to her bed and with tears brimming in her eyes, she opened her arms to receive them and give them a hug; when Charles (as he was older) stopped Henry suddenly before reaching the bed "Henry, wait. No!"

Catherine looked at him and surprised asked "What's wrong, Charles?"

"Henry, you can't just run like that and jump into mother's bed before thinking that you may hurt her." Then he turned to Catherine "Where does it hurt, Mother?"

She smiled at her little boys, her arms still open and ready to embrace them "How thoughtful of you, Charles. But I guess that the pain is gone now that I see my two babies. Come to me and give me a hug." She hugged her two boys trying to erase the pain and sorrow away, trying to forget the things that were done to her, the things that she had done…

She was so excited and happy about the visit of her little boys that she didn't notice that her husband was also there. Holding the two boys in her arms she looked at her husband while he carefully closed the door and took some steps forward to them. "I thought that it would be good for you to have them here with you." He said with a soft voice, while she still avoided his gaze.

"Mother, why are you sick?" little Henry asked and Charles repeated his brother's question "Yes, mother. What happened?"

Catherine looked frightened at her sons. She didn't know what to say. What to tell them to make them understand? The truth? That their father forced her to do something she didn't want to do and it humiliated her in the worst way that a man can humiliate a woman? That she tried to take her life because she was pregnant and didn't want this child? No, they were too young. Not even Francis knew the truth. Maybe just telling them that she lost the baby would make them understand her situation.

Searching for the right answer, she swallowed hard and started to speak without knowing yet what to say and how it would end. "Well, I was not feeling well for days… and I" she touched her belly and continued "then I realized that I was…"

Henry interrupted her "Your mother realized that she had eaten something that didn't settle well with her. She felt ill and had abdominal pain, so be careful and do not accidentally…"

Catherine gazed at Henry and asked herself whether he did not want their sons to know the truth because they were too young to understand or because they might realize what had really happened and hate him for it… She added "Yes, it was as your father said. Just temporary pain…"

"Oh... Poor you mother, but we have a great idea. Let us stay here with you tonight. Having your two angels with you will make you feel better. By tomorrow we're sure that the pain will be gone and you'll be back to normal!" Charles asked excitedly and Henry added "Yes, Mother. Can we? Pleaseeee, say that we can."

No matter how strong she was and how proud her Medici blood was, her weaknesses had always been her children… and Henry of course. She couldn't say no to them. "Alright. You're allowed to stay here tonight."

"Yesssss. I told you Charles, mother will let us stay here." They cheered.

She moved further to one side of the bed and made room for her two boys, as it was late when they came into her chambers they were already in their night clothes. They took their robes and slippers off and jumped in her bed.

Henry observed the goings on with a grin. He realized that it was time for him to go and said "So, I will retire to my chambers now. I wish you all a good night." As he was about to leave little Henry stopped him "Father? Why don't you stay with us?" He was stunned by the question, Catherine even more.

"Yes, that's a great idea, Henry." Charles sighed "Mother's bed is big enough and it will make mother feel better if we all stay here with her tonight."

Catherine's heart began to beat faster. Henry's mere presence made her nervous, but the thought that he could stay in her bed all night almost made her hyperventilate. She opened her mouth, not knowing what to say "I… I…"

Henry saw the fear in her eyes "I'm afraid that the bed is not big enough for four people. I don't want to disturb your mother and make her uncomfortable. She needs to recover."

Seeing her children's disappointment, she felt sorry for them. It was not their fault that their father was the person that he was. She looked down and barely muttered "I guess that there is room for you too." She nodded as Henry's eyes shone.

He hadn't expected her to allow him to stay in her chamber, let alone sleep in her bed….not after everything that had occurred between them.

Charles and little Henry moved closer to Catherine so that there was room for Henry in the bed. He was still fully clothed but it would have been too laborious for him to go to his chambers and change into his night clothes, so he just laid next to Charles on top of the bed covers. It seemed to be a perfect family moment. The King and Queen of France sharing the royal bed with their sons.

* * *

The early morning sun had already entered the room when Henry slowly opened his eyes. The picture he saw made him feel like he was in heaven. His beautiful wife and his two younger sons sleeping peacefully.

"This is the way I want to wake up forever. This is how I should have always woken up", he thought.

He carefully got out of the bed and headed for the door. He preferred not to be there when Catherine woke up. She might feel uncomfortable with his presence. She let him stay this night, but he knew it was because of the children. Before leaving the room he turned one more time to look at them and he asked himself when would be the next time that he would be able to stay in his wife's chambers? Will she ever allow it? Will she ever forgive him and will he ever be able to forgive himself? Will she ever forget what he had done to her?

With a worried look the King left the Queen's chambers.

* * *

**_Thank you for your rewievs guys. The next chapter will probably be the last one... so be ready for the end! _**  
**_Thank you Bea and Maria for your help with the grammar and time! _**


	5. Chapter 5 - END

During her recovery she spent most of the time with Mary and her children. The first days, Henry came every night to her chambers to check if she was feeling better.

After some time had passed he stopped his daily visits. He didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable with his presence and stopped visiting altogether, but continued asking Nostradamus how her wife's recovery was progressing so far.

Nostradamus, as a good friend of the Queen, told her that the King asked every day about her condition and that he was worried about her.  
The thought that Henry still cared about how she felt flattered her, but it did not heal the wounds in her heart.

* * *

Time moved on, Catherine and Henry hadn't seen much of each other, but today the Queen would be in attendance at the royal audience. King Henry had already taken his place in the Throne Room and nervously waited for Catherine. It had been a long time since she had been present at the royal audience. Nostradamus had prescribed rest, but truth be told, Catherine had not been ready to sit next to Henry and pretend that all was well with them. She could only wear her "Queen" mask for so long.

The guards opened the doors and there she was, wearing a perfect black gown with gold jewelry and a resplendent crown. The Queen of France, in her full radiance. All in the room bowed as she walked to her throne. Henry gently stood up as she came to him and then turned to face the people.

He looked at her, admiring her beauty and strength, it was not easy for a woman to act with so much dignity and face the entire French Court after all the things that had happened to her.

Not so long ago she had been vulnerable and weak, but look at her now. She was standing with the elegance, poise and strength of a Queen, ready to solve the problems of the French people and forget about her own sorrows. After all, it was her Medici temper he admired so much and years ago fell in love with. He realized that he was there because it was his duty too to help his subjects, so he removed his eyes from Catherine, took a deep breath and announced:

"Let us start with the first case!"

* * *

It was dark outside and Catherine was already in her chambers. It had been a really stressful day, but other people's problems made her forget about her own.

She heard a knock on her door. One of her loyal servants came to her like she did every night to bring the news of the day.

"Your Grace" the girl bowed.

"So what news do you bring me?" Catherine asked, sitting at her vanity, looking in the mirror as she removed her crown and jewelry.

"Your son and his wife came back from the lakeside and are now in their chambers. Princes Charles, Henry and the other children finished their lessons for the day and are having their dinner. Their studies are progressing very well."

Catherine nodded and smiled at this, still looking in the mirror. Then the servant continued "Bash has..." Catherine rolled her eyes at hearing his name, "He received a visit today. His mother, Lady Diane, arrived this morning."

Catherine's hands momentarily froze as she stopped removing her rings and slowly turned to the girl who was staring at the ground, not daring to look at her Queen in the eye. It was not the first time that the girl had to inform her that Diane was at court, but every time she did so and spoke the name "Lady Diane", she felt ashamed and sorry to bring such bad news to the Queen. Even if her Majesty seemed not to care, the girl could see the flicker of pain in the Queen's eyes and felt displeased.

"So, I guess my dear husband will be busy in his chambers right now." Catherine added, ironically.

"I doubt it, your Grace. The King sent her back to Paris." Catherine stared at the girl agape and raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean he sent her back to Paris? You told me that she just arrived today."

"Yes, your majesty, but he sent her back after a conversation in his chambers. Well…...Lets call it a conversation, but the guards said that the King yelled at her and was angry. She stayed just a few minutes in his chambers and when she came out, they said, she was pale and frustrated. She left a few hours ago."

Catherine, still with her mouth open, took a breath and pretended not to care "Anything else?"

"No, your Grace."

"Thank you. You are dismissed." The girl left.

Catherine stood up and walked toward her window. She asked herself if Henry really was sorry and felt guilty.  
Was he still her Henry? She stayed a long time by the window lost in thought, searching for answers she knew that she wouldn't find in the middle of her dark garden. After much pondering she made a decision.

* * *

Henry was interrupted by a guard "Your Majesty."

As he was sitting at his worktable, still reading some letters of complaint, he looked at the guard "Yes?"

"Queen Catherine is here."

"Let her in", he demanded with a puzzled look. She came in, and the guard left closing the door behind him.

She saw that he was still reading the letters; "I didn't know that you were still busy. Maybe I should..."

"NO, no, I was finishing with this so... You are not disturbing me. Is there something I can do for you?"

"Hmm...?" she looked confused and realized that she didn't even know why she had come and what she had wanted to say to him. Maybe she didn't really want to say anything. Maybe she was there because she wanted to hear something; but how could she tell him that she was there to hear him apologize? Did he even want to apologize?

"Oh, yes. Monsieur Baffour", she paused, "Monsieur Baffour... I felt sorry for his wife and children today and wanted to know what have you decided to do with him?"

Henry smiled at her, she always felt sorry for the children and the family of the prisoners "Don't worry about that. They will be fine. I promise they will."

She nodded "Well then... Good night." She turned around unsurely and walked away from him, toward the door. When she stood in front of the door she heard him calling her, "Catherine...", her eyes shone and she was surprised of what came next.

"I know I already told you, but I feel like I will never be able to stop saying that to you and even if I know it will not make it easier for you or justify what I've done..." he rambled on taking a few steps forward, "But I'm sorry."

She turned to him as he continued "I know you don't want me to talk about this and you don't want to hear anything from me. And you can leave my chambers right now if you want, but I have the right to say what I feel, what is on my mind and what is in my heart."

She stood there, frozen. Henry was relieved because she was still there and hadn't reacted like the last time. They looked into each others eyes, deep with sorrow and pain.

"I have loved you, Catherine, from the first time I saw you." He laughed softly "The first time I saw you... I still remember it, you know? This little Italian girl, who was scared but didn't want to admit it. This little Medici girl, who had to confront the whole French Court and make them respect her. I remember the girl that smiled at me every time I made a joke which wasn't even funny. I also remember that I stole a first kiss, even before we were married, because I couldn't resist you." With tears in her eyes, she began to smile.

"I still remember our first night together. It was not my first time but I was scared for you, I was scared that I could hurt you. I still remember you trembling and how your eyes shone. Every detail. Every single detail of our first days. I still remember it, Catherine. And I miss those days." He looked deep into her eyes which were wet with tears.

"My brother died, then my father. I became King and you my Queen. I was taught not to be weak and vulnerable. Not to let anyone have control over me. I was desperate and scared of those who could betray me." He looked at the ground and then at her, "I made a mistake, and you didn't stop me, Catherine. Then I continued making mistakes, and you never openly told me that I was wrong. You never said it to me. I thought that you didn't care anymore. I found refuge in other women. I just wanted to forget you, but I didn't. I couldn't. All these years."

Henry began to beat his chest with his fist "And you are still HERE, Catherine." He said painfully, while continuing to beat his chest to make even more obvious what he meant with "HERE!"

She wiped the tears from her face as she gathered the courage to speak, "I cared. I always did, but you know me. You should have known that I was not able to tell you that I was hurt. You should have known that my Medici pride would not have allowed me to show weakness. You always were the piece of me I wish I didn't need, but the mistake you made was neither simple nor small. You brought that woman back and broke my heart. You continued with your affairs. Was I not enough for you? Was our love not strong enough, Henry?"

"Yes. Our love was enough, but my character was not. I was not as proud and strong as you were. I am still not. I know I was the one who sent you into Richard's arms. When I found out about Richard and you I was desperate, jealous and enraged. What I did to you that night..."

She quickly came to face him and put her hand over his mouth to stop him from talking, and then she slowly removed her hand, "Are you really sorry, Henry?" she asked.

"I AM, CATHERINE. I truly am", he cried.

"You know that love needs dedication?" she asked.

"I realized that", he nodded.

"You are my only weakness, Henry. Maybe that's why I've been so hard on you. Maybe that, combined with your betrayal, was what made us live in this hell all these years."

"My thoughts have always been of you, Catherine. No matter where I have been or what I have done."

For a few minutes they just looked at each other, and then she was the one saying: "Ah, I'll let my Medici temper go to hell this time." She looked at him and took both of his hands, then moved them to her cheeks "I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing, but I'm ready to try." He gazed confused at her.

"I'm ready to try to forgive you." She said as he stared at her, happy and a bit in disbelief, he then heard her speak words that he hadn't heard in many years. "Because I love you." she said looking deep into his eyes.

Her proclamation of love rendered him speechless. He thought that he would never again hear those words from Catherine's lips. He tenderly caressed her forehead moving slowly to her cheeks, while her hands were on his elbows. "I love you too, Catherine." His words reached her soul.

They looked at each other for minutes, just standing there in silence. He wasn't sure what to do. If the situation had been different, he would have kissed her and grabbed her by her waist. But how could he do that now? This could scare her and ruin the beautiful moment. He waited for her to take the next step.

She raised herself on her toes to reach his lips and he leaned down until their lips met. He kissed her gently on the corners of her mouth to give her time to stop him if she wanted to do so, but she didn't.

Catherine kissed him back. She deepened the kiss and then took his hands from her cheeks and moved them down to her waist. For a moment she stopped the kiss and Henry became nervous. He didn't want to hurt her or remind her of the last night they had spent together. His hands were around her waist and hers resting on his shoulders. She gave him a warm smile while she looked into his eyes making him know that it was OK, that she wanted him as much as he wanted her, that she wasn't afraid. Seeing her consent, Henry leaned to her to give her another kiss, this time with much more passion.

It was a long kiss that had been filled with all the pent-up emotions they had for each other. When their lips finally parted, she rested one hand on his shoulder while the other hand was on his neck. Catherine pulled herself closer to him and his hands began to move to her hair. He removed the hairpins from the hair that he had always loved so much and her strawberry blond curls fell in a cascade. Henry stood for a few seconds admiring his beautiful wife and then lifted her so that she was now as tall as he was. Still kissing, he moved with her through the room, laid her gently on his bed and carefully climbed on top of her. Then he broke the kiss and just looked at her for a moment.

Leaning down, he buried his face in her hair, inhaling its perfume, a light floral scent that he had never smelled on any other woman. He lifted his head and planted small kisses along her neck and throat. When he kissed the gap between her cleavage, it caused Catherine to gasp. He smiled and faced her, touching her lips with his as he whispered, "You are so beautiful, Catherine!"

Looking at him, she lifted her head to kiss him passionately. As they kissed, his hands began to roam over her breasts, eliciting a small groan from her lips. His caresses moved down to her hips. He began to lift up her skirt and his knee separated her legs. His hands were all over her thighs. She moaned as his hands came dangerously close to the cleft between her legs. Henry stopped for a moment, trying to control himself.

"Catherine, If you want me to stop - I will! Right now. Just tell me if you want to stop here and..."

Her hand was on the back of his neck and she pulled his head closer to her lips. "Henry, Henry, I don't want you to stop!"

She gripped him with her thighs then opened her legs wider for him, kissing his neck and lifting her skirt as he took his pants off. He raised her face toward him, looking intently into her eyes as he slowly slid into her. Catherine closed her eyes and emitted a low growl as she felt him fully inside of her. She arched her back and rested her head on the pillows.

He thrusted at first gently, letting her adjust to his size, then his movements became faster and harder. Her arms were on his back as she raised herself from the bed, pressing herself even closer to him, wanting to feel him deeper inside her. He kissed her and after a few more thrusts they both reached their climax, still kissing. Henry broke from the kiss, looked at her and softly caressed her cheek with his hand.

He fell back on the bed and pulled her to him, holding her in his arms while her head rested against his chest. She wished that their story could end with the words and "they lived happily ever after" but she knew that this was not their story.

She was a Medici, she was not born to love but to rule and he was not born to be the man of one woman. She knew that when she walked out of his chambers it would not be easy to continue.

She would feel the same pain she felt every time the servants would inform her that Diane had returned. She would feel the same pain she felt when morning came and she would address him in the same cold manner that was her armor to hide the pain that she felt. She would continue to talk about affairs of state, as her broken heart would deny her love for him. But, right here and now, she was basking in the afterglow of their love making. She wanted to remember every moment of that night, happy and content to be in the arms of her husband. Satisfied, even if it was for a brief moment in time, and she wanted to enjoy every second of it.

* * *

**Thank you all so much for your Reviews, Favs and for following this story! You're great! & Thanks Bea for her help with the grammar for this last chapter! I hope you liked the ending. And sorry that it took so long to post it, I was not sure how to end it and not to disappoint you all... :) **


End file.
